Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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