i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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