And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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