So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
