So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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