We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
