i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
