its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
