She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
