didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
bring money and cleavage
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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