We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
