I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I supernannyed him into submission
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
