I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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