it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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