Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
