I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
