i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
