OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
