dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
