And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
