My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
