PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
