don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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