I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
