Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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