if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
