honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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