As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
