I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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