I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
