make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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