she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
