No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
