i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
