Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
