Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize