At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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