why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
