im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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