In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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