fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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