i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
