Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
