if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
