just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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