Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
