I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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