we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
