he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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