I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize