I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
