Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
