I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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