What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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