the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
