Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
