She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
