My nipple is on Facebook.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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