Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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