Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
