he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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